Fragraces and Surrender

SPRING IN THE LITERAL SENSE

It seemed like I woke up this week and spring was here. There was no gradual transition. There was no warning. The first day of spring came, and it did not disappoint. The weather was what could only be described as perfect. It seemed as if everyone on campus came out of their warm shells of a dorm room and migrated outside to the sun and green grass. The trees are blooming with small white and pink flowers that give off a fragrance you can't help but take in. When I walk underneath them I hate having to exhale for fear of missing a single ounce of that fragrance. The tulips that were planted have bloomed and add extra color to the already green grass. I have found myself falling in love with Nashville spring. Everything seems so alive, so new, so fresh in a way that I never experienced in Dallas. 

So I sit here in the Frothy Monkey enjoying my cup of chai, wondering what sort of foolishness I could get into today. I mean it is April Fools Day, which basically means I can get away with anything. Part of me knows that all I will be able to do though is enjoy the sunshine while I try and finish the long to-do list sitting in front of me. Tomorrow is my 19th birthday, and this weekend I'll be in Gaitlinburg for a celebration of sorts, which means everything on this list has to get done today. The sun keeps calling me outdoors, so I may just have an easier time with getting things done if I answer that call. Sitting outside on my blanket has become a favorite hobby of mine. While that means dodging flying frisbees and keeping myself hydrated, I will take it. I'm honestly sure none of this makes sense because my attention is focused on the outdoors currently. Spring is here and I want to enjoy it.

SPRING IN THE SPIRITUAL SENSE

My life has recently entered into a period of spring as well. I've been in a cold, gloomy place for a few months now. Everything just seemed to go wrong and I was having a very difficult time dealing with it all. But his sort of peace has fallen over me in the past few weeks, and it's like the sun has made on appearance through the clouds. My soul is finally starting to warm up again and I feel like making it to summer really won't be as hard as I thought. I've been worrying about how I would deal with everything that has been thrown at me, how I will do it with a Christ-like heart, and how in the world I wasn't being crushed by the weight of it all. I finally saw that the beams of support weren't laying on me. The support beams were founded on a Rock. A solid Foundation. I finally found the faith the trust that He would take care of it, that He would keep it all from crashing in on me. There is a verse in Isaiah that I have been wrestling with over the past few months, and I think I finally understand what it means. 

"Unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm." 

I had been so worried about how I would keep standing, about how I would keep everything together that I forgot about the fact that God is there doing it all. He is there holding up the beams. I didn't have the faith that He would be able to fix everything so I felt like the world was crashing in. Once I finally surrendered and gave Him control, the sun came out, the flowers bloomed, and suddenly the sky didn't seem so gray anymore. I felt again. I felt hope. I felt love. I felt warmth. 

Last night at Bible study, my roommate said something that kind of stuck with me. "God has called us to a be comfortably uncomfortable." I felt like this described where I have been perfectly. God was making me uncomfortable to teach me to find comfort in Him. While I hate that feeling of uneasiness and not having control, I have finally figured out that God will take care of me in those periods of uncertainty. He has control so I need to stop fighting Him for it. He is the only thing that is Certain. 

He is Certain, we are only temporary. Give up control. Find comfort in the Comforter. That's my prayer today.

Have a blessed day and enjoy the spring weather!

mac